189 Timey Wimey #18 – Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

This is the one where Jake Gyllenhaal does a little bit of time travel but mostly does PARKOUR.

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet doing audio parkour: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs! 

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t. Except for when we don’t.

Welcome to Episode 189 covering Timey Wimey #18, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.

Super-short Recap

This is the one where Jake Gyllenhaal does a little bit of time travel but mostly does PARKOUR.

Who’s Responsible for this?!

  • Director: Mike Newell
    • Directed some Coronation Street & Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  • Screen Story: Jordan Mechner
    • The creator of the original video game, none of which is reflected in this film…

Where do I know that guy from?

  • Nizam – Ben Kingsley
    • The fake Mandarin from Iron Man 3 and Shang Chi.
  • Dastan – Jake Gyllenhaal
    • Mysterio!
  • Sheik Amar – Alfred Molina
    • Doc Ock!
  • IMDb noted that NONE of the actors were Persian

Misc Trivia

  • This was supposed to kick off a trilogy, like Pirates of the Caribbean, but because it only did about $336 million after a $200 million budget, the project was delayed. Shortly after its release, Gyllenhaal publicly expressed regret for being in the movie, which pretty much killed any hopes of a sequel.

Random stuff we noticed

  • Was that Scorpion’s weapon?
  • CGI snakes suck!

Time Travel Details


  • The TIME KNIFE?!?!?!
    • Corbin said it looked like the most important thing in the world


  • You can go back and alter events, and no one would know the difference
  • The dagger only holds a minute worth of sand
  • But the glass of the sands of time holds more and you can go back as far as you like
  • The sand storm that was supposed to destroy the world was swept up into the sandglass. 

Did they follow their own rules?

Things they got right

  • How did you know I’d press the button? Because we’re brothers. Yeah, but how’d you know he’d press it within a minute?


  • You can go back before you were even holding the dagger?

Things they got wrong

  • So, why did he go back all the way?


  • Time travel wasn’t really used strategically
    • He used it once on accident
    • He used it once for an example
    • At the end of the movie he accidentally uses it to deus ex machina retcon the entire movie
    • The only time it’s used strategically is to fight the snakes

Can we talk about Destiny?

  • Wait, first off, was his NAME Destiny?!?!?!
  • Second, how does a religious order based on the idea of time travel believe in Destiny?!
  • When Dastan says “we make our own destiny” he means it quite literally because he can go back in time and make things different!

Was it good?

  • Was it a good story?
    • Austin – 
    • Corbin – 
    • Tripp – 
  • Was it a good time travel story?
    • Austin – 
    • Corbin – 
    • Tripp – 

Listener Input 

  • Christina said she considers herself a fan!
  • I think we said something about “our listeners” because “fans” was too presumptuous. So on Nov. 24, Christina said she considers herself a fan. And Facebook JUST TOLD ME!
  • Also, Christina was the one who requested Prince of Persia as a Timey Wimey, so we always do what our fans ask!

The Game Plan 

  • We’re continuing with our Best of Series with The Best of Nine. We’ll cover The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances.
  • Then we’re headed back to our Classic Who Master Plan with The Five Doctors.


Noobs and the Whovian is a production of Master Closet Studios, where it’s always smaller on the inside. Your Senior Producer is Austin Reason. Our Audio Engineer is Thing One: Tripp Reason. Our Production Editor is the Other One: Corbin Reason. Special thanks to tardis.fandom.com for the trivia, and to Jared for the Classic Who Connection. Shout outs to Victor and Jared for their Patreon support.

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Until next time, be safe if you can. But always. Be. Amazing.