171 Orphan 55

This is the one where the doctor and her companions fight Mew-Ta-Ted humans on EaRtH. Also capitalism bad, global warming bad, rich people bad, etc, etc.

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet recording from a post-apocalyptic version of Earth: It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs! 

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t. 

Welcome to Episode 171 covering series 12 episode 3: Orphan 55

Super-short Recap

This is the one where the doctor and her companions fight Mew-Ta-Ted humans on EaRtH. Also capitalism bad, global warming bad, rich people bad, etc, etc.

Production notes

  • Story #289
  • Originally aired January 12, 2020 to 5.38 million viewers
  • Written by: Ed Hime
  • Directed by: Lee Haven Jones


  • Hyph3n – Amy Booth-Steel
    • She played a doctor on Coronation Street


  • Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?
    • Yep
    • An orphan planet is uninhabitable, usually because of the society living on it
  • Creature of the week
    • Dregs
      • A horribly buck-toothed yet muscular animal thing that wants to kill and destroy
      • Oh, and they’re us
      • They’re also far superior to us so I don’t see what the problem is.
    • So, is there anything that CAN’T beam into/out of the TARDIS?
  • Psychic paper
    • She had to try a few suggestions before that worked
  • Needless sacrificial death!
    • Did Villma accomplish anything?
    • Kane’s was even worse!
  • Adventures in closed captioning!
    • Hyph3n with a 3 was kinda ruined by the CC
      • After the second H before the final N. 
      • Wait, where’s the FIRST N?!

Other stuff we noticed

  • A cross-platform virus?
  • Snap hammer, crash wrench? Does that just make it sound more spacey-wacey?
  • What happened to the two people at the end.

Who’s Who?

  • Who is Ryan Sinclair?
    • He’s a pilot… surgeon… a pilot surgeon… a surgeon to pilots
  • Who is Graham O’Brien?
    • He was already wearing his speedos?
    • It ain’t the aliens that’ll kill him, it’s worrying about Ryan
  • Who is Yasmin “Yaz” Khan?
  • Who is the Doctor?
    • She has hopper first-aid training
      • That whole sequence was great
    • With crayons and a half a tin of spam, she could build YOU from scratch!
    • She doesn’t need a second person for a conversation, they usually get in the way anyway
    • Three eighths of a plan. Two eighths. To be honest, I’ve only got the letter P but sometimes that’s all I need
      • My math teacher reduces the day
    • Humans. I think you forget how powerful you are. Live change worlds. People can save planets or wreck them, that’s the choice. Be the best of humanity.

Can we talk about global warming?

Classic Who Connections

  • The Sixth Doctor had a similar experience of being on an unknown planet, only to find that it was Earth. This was in the serial The Mysterious Planet
  • The Second Doctor liked to say, “When I say ‘run’, run” a lot.
  • In The Curse of the Fenric, the Seventh Doctor saw a possible dystopian/mutated future for humanity
  • We saw the Doctor use a form of mind meld on one of the Dregs. We have seen that before in Classic Who.

Overall impressions

  • Overall rating out of 10
    • Jared- 5.5/10 – Tired tropes 
    • Austin – 5 creeping quads
    • Corbin – 5 buck teeth
    • Tripp – 6 babies watching this show 
  • Creep Level – out of 500
    • Jared – 75
    • Austin – 200
    • Corbin – 100
    • Tripp – 100


  • Who is the Timeless Child?
    • Tripp – something from the Doctor and the Master’s past that they don’t remember
    • Corbin – it’s not related to them at all
  • What does it all mean?

The Game Plan 

Next week, we’re covering series 12 episode 4, Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror