147 Thin Ice

This is the one where the Doctor and Bill free an alien that eats people and poops coal. Also, The Doctor didn't technically go off-world.

Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet that is powered by coal poop It’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs! 

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t. 

Welcome to Episode 147, covering series 10 episode 3, Thin ice 

Super-short Recap

This is the one where the Doctor and Bill free an alien that eats people and poops coal. Also, The Doctor didn’t technically go off-world. 

Production notes

  • Story #266
  • Originally aired April 29, 2017 to 5.61 million viewers
  • Written by: Sarah Dollard
  • Directed by: Bill Anderson


  • Lord Sutcliffe – Nicholas Burns
    • IT Crowd “Work Outing”


  • Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?
    • It was on a sign
  • Creature of the week
    • Tiny, the loch-less monster, the not-so-little mermaid
  • Jiggery Pokery
    • TARDIS 
      • She’s a bad girl, this one. Always looking for trouble.
    • Sonic
      • Magic wand
      • How is THAT a screwdriver? In a broad sense. How is it sonic? It makes a noise!
    • Psychic paper
      • You work for the Palace? Haven’t gotten that in a while.

Other stuff we noticed 

  • The Doctor’s been here a few times. Specifically, he took River there and they brought Stevie Wonder!
  • Every choice I make right now could change the whole future. Yeah, just like every other day.
    • It’s just time travel, don’t overthink it.

Who’s Who?

  • Who is Nardole?
    • As long as I’m still here, you are going nowhere!
  • Who is Bill?
    • She’s low-key in love with the TARDIS.
      • She has dresses and is always looking for trouble. 
    • She kinda got to the dark parts of the Doctor quickly
    • She moved on… 
    • He serves at the pleasure of the human race, so she needs to give him an answer.
  • Who is the Doctor?
    • He’s a bit of a thief.
    • I assumed we’d get to work eventually
    • How’d you find me? Get used to that question.
    • I’m 2000 years old and I’ve never had the time for the luxury of outrage.
    • Passion fights, but reason wins.
    • Doctor Disco!
    • He preferred it when Lord Sutcliffe was an alien, it explained the inhumanity.
    • Rant of the week: Human progress isn’t measured by industry, it’s measured by the value you place on life. An unimportant life, a life without privilege. That boy who died on the river, his value is your value. That’s what defines an age. That’s what defines a species. 
      • Bill sure gained a lot of respect and admiration for him right there!
    • Don’t be smug. Smug belongs to me.

Classic Who Connections

  • There was some speculation from Bill that they had traveled to a parallel world. This is rare for the Doctor, but the Third Doctor and Liz did just that in Inferno. You may recall that’s the one where the evil parallel Lethbridge-Stewart had an eyepatch.
  • Once again we handwave away the lack of a historical record of a major event on Earth (or at least in London) by saying that humans easily overlook things or forget things. Much like he did in Remembrance of the Daleks.

Jared Has Feelings

  • About Struwwelpeter
  • Usually translated as Shock-headed Peter
  • Written by Heinrich Hoffann
  • They are parables that end in exaggerated disaster.
  • Fidgety Philip knocks all of the food at the dinner table on the floor
  • In “The Very Sad Tale with Matches” a girl plays with matches and burns herself to death
  • The Doctor is reading “The Story of the Thumb-Sucker” where a boy who is told not to suck his thumbs still does it when his mother isn’t looking. Then a tailor sees him doing it and chops his thumbs off with large shears. 
  • This wasn’t published until 1845 and they were visiting the frost fair in 1814

Overall impressions

  • Overall rating out of 10
    • Jared – 7 don’t go towards the light 
    • Austin – 8 unending fish pies
    • Corbin – 7 squashed butterflies
    • Tripp – 8 no one remembers Pete 
  • Creep Level – out of 500
    • Jared – 75
    • Austin – 225
    • Corbin – 50
    • Tripp – 85


  • He took an oath to not leave Earth.
    • Do these look like off-world clothes?
    • You said you were going for tea. And here I am, in my specially chosen tea-clothes
  • What’s in the vault?
    • Corbin: A villain 
    • Tripp: Definitely a Timelord, maybe The Master
  • Who did he make the vow to?
    • Corbin: Maybe River?
    • Tripp: A Timelord

The Game Plan 

  • Next week, we’re doing episode 4, Knock Knock 
  • After that, we’re covering Men In Black 3. It, along with parts 1 & 2, are available on the Starz channel on Amazon Prime. Click the image below to go straight to the listing where you can start your free 7-day trial of Starz!


Noobs and the Whovian is a production of Master Closet Studios, where it’s always smaller on the inside. Your Senior Producer is Austin Reason. Our Audio Engineer is Thing One: Tripp Reason. Our Production Editor is the Other One: Corbin Reason. Special thanks to tardis.fandom.com for the trivia, and to Jared for the Classic Who Connection. Shout outs to Victor and Jared for their Patreon support.

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Until next time, be safe if you can. But always. Be. Amazing.