Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet that makes souffles without milk: it’s the Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs!

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t. 

Welcome to Episode 93 covering Series 7, Episode 1: Asylum of the Daleks. 

Super-short Recap 

This is the one where the Doctor fixes Amy & Rory’s relationship like it’s his bowtie and kills the greatest companion he’s never had.

Remember that one?

Production notes

  • Story # 226
  • Originally aired September 1, 2012 to 8.33 million viewers.
    • To my point in the last episode. It was actually viewed by 6.4 million live viewers, making it the lowest of all the NuWho premiere episodes. However, this is when online/asynchronous viewing started really going up. It was 8.33 million by the next day, with another 2.2 million views on BBC iPlayer.
    • All these numbers are UK only. Internationally, it was watched or streamed roughly 2.42 million times.
  • Written by: Steven Moffat

Directed by: Nick Hurran – did The Girl Who Waited and The God Complex and will be back for the mid-season finale and the 50th Anniversary special.

Can we talk about Pond Life?

  • Throughout, the Doctor calls them the Ponds.
  • Amy calls Rory, Mr. Pond
  • Ood on the loo!
  • The Doctor accidentally invented pasta
  • He used the sonic to erase a voicemail through his phone


  • Oswin Oswald – Jenna-Louise Coleman
    • She did a bunch of British stuff, including Victoria
    • She also played a girl named Connie in Captain America
    • Not much else to say about her really
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  • Name of the episode spoken in dialogue?
    • Almost – What do you know of the Dalek Asylum?
  • Creature of the week
    • Daleks
      • Apparently they have a Parliament and a Prime Minister.
        • I love how we copy and paste our patterns onto aliens. If Doctor Who was an American show, you can guarantee it would be Congress and President.
      • They have a sense of beauty. They think hatred is beautiful and divine.
      • They have standing orders to destroy the Predator, even if it means self-destructing.
      • Without the gun, you’re a tricycle with a roof.
      • This is the first return to Skaro since the Doctor Who movie
      • It’s also the first Dalek episode to take place somewhere other than Earth since 1985’s Sixth Doctor story Revelation of the Daleks.
  • CGI
    • The rockets that blew up the planet were pretty lame.
  • Bow ties are cool
    • You can’t fix us like you fix your bowtie. Sure he can!
  • Hats
    • Geronimo
      • One from Amy
      • Running count – 8+1
    • Stuff the Doctor loves
      • Jiggery Pokery
        • Sonic
          • TARDIS 
            • Psychic paper
              • Random
              • Needless sacrificial death
                • Jibberty Jabberty
                  • Silence will fall
                    • The Question/Doctor Who?
                      • No new information about it but…
                      • We got it from the Daleks!
                      • Then from the Doctor himself!
                    • Termy-wermy
                      • We’ve had wibbly-wobbly & timey-wimey for a while now. Last season we got spacey-wacey and humany-wumany (in the Christmas special).
                      • This episode we got explodey-wodey.
                      • I honestly don’t remember if there’s more to come, but it’s on the list anyway!
                    • Jammie Dodger sighting
                      • Thought we had an actual SIGHTING in the prequel minisode, but it was just scones and jam.
                      • Running count – 3
                    • The Doctor’s Rules
                    • Existential Horror
                      • Corbin, would you like to talk at all about forgetting that you died because you were turned into a Dalek puppet?

                    Who’s Who? 

                    • Who is Rory?
                      • Epic slide!
                      • The Nose and the Chin! You two could fence!
                      • Do you remember me? *SLAP* She remembers me.
                      • I’m all ears. Amy: There’s a nose joke going there somewhere if someone wants it.
                      • He thinks it’s a fundamental fact of their relationship that he loves her more than she loves him.
                    • Who is Amy?
                      • Even the Daleks called her Amelia Pond!
                      • It is known that the Doctor requires companions
                      • Is it bad that I’ve really missed this?
                      • She can’t have kids. 
                      • So she gave up Rory.
                    • Who is The Doctor?
                      • He played the triangle on L’amour est un oiseau rebelle
                      • What’s wrong with 4 seconds? You can do loads in 4 seconds.
                    • Who is Oswin Oswald?
                      • She was not the daughter of Darla von Karlsen, the first Dalek-puppet we met
                      • Is there a word for total genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?
                      • Put her on the list with Astrid, Madame du Pompadour, etc. of the companions who never were.
                      • I wanted to see the universe but I ship-wrecked the first time out. Rescue me Chinboy and show me the stars!
                      • Both Noobs called it very early on that she was gonna die
                      • Corbin called it pretty early on that she was already a Dalek
                      • Run you clever boy, and remember!

                    Classic Who Connection

                    • The Doctor refers to being familiar with Dalek prison camps because In Destiny of the Daleks the Fourth Doctor witnessed human-like slaves being forced to dig and mine Skaro looking for Davros 
                    • The Second Doctor was also called upon to help the Daleks in The Evil of the Daleks, but that was so he could genetically help them become more human, thus making them invincible
                    • In Revelation of the Daleks with the Sixth Doctor, the Daleks also turned humans into Daleks
                    • Moffat alluded to the serial The Daleks’ Master Plan with very similar scenes just before the Doctor arrives on the asylum to when the First Doctor arrived on Mira
                    • Daleks seen in the intensive care section fought in battles with the Doctor on these planets
                      • Spiridon – Planet of the Daleks
                      • Kembel – The Daleks’ Master Plan
                      • Aridius – The Chase
                      • Vulcan – The Power of the Daleks
                      • Exxilon – Death to the Daleks

                    Overall Impressions

                    • Overall rating out of 10 – 
                      • Jared – 9 Crazy Daleks
                      • Austin – 9 dairy-free souffles
                      • Corbin – 8.7 fake companions
                      • Tripp -9 chin boys
                    • Creep Level – out of 500
                      • Jared – 300
                      • Austin – 275
                      • Corbin – 200
                      • Tripp – 230

                    The Game Plan 

                    • Next week, we continue with series 7 with Dinosaurs on a Spaceship .


                    Noobs and the Whovian is a production of Master Closet Studios, where it’s always smaller on the inside. Your Senior Producer is Austin Reason. Our Audio Engineer is Tripp Reason. Corbin Reason is our Production Editor. Special thanks to for the trivia, and to Jared for the Classic Who Connection. Shout outs to Victor and Jared for their Patreon support.

                    You can find us at or and email us at [email protected]. Consider supporting us at Please subscribe and leave a rating wherever you found us, and share us with a friend not because we’re a great show but because we watch one.

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