Live from Master Closet Studios, you’re listening to the only podcast on the internet that can read the oldest graffiti in the universe: Noobs and the Whovian! 

My name is Austin and I’m the Whovian, and these are my sons Corbin and Tripp and we’re the noobs!

This is the podcast that introduces a whole new generation to Doctor Who by watching an episode each week and discussing it from the perspective of a dad who’s seen it before, and two sons who haven’t.  

Welcome to Episode 75 covering series 5 episodes 12-13, The Pandorica Opens & The Big Bang.

Super-short Recap

This is the one where the Doctor, Amy, and Rory – Rory, guys, RORY! – have a showdown with just about every one of the Doctor’s enemies that results in the end of every universe. For a little while. Then he fixes it with some jiggery pokery and… memories?

Production notes

  • Story # 212
  • Originally aired June 19 & 26, 2010 to 7.57 & 6.7 million viewers
  • Written by: Steven Moffat
  • Directed by: Toby Haynes

Misc Trivia

  • This episode features the largest number of alien species in a single episode of Who.
  • Including The Invasion of Time, Logopolis, Journey’s End, The End of Time), this is the fifth time in Who where the fate of EVERY universe hangs in the balance.
  • June 26th, 2010 – one of only four times in NuWho where the episode specifically references the date and it lines up with the broadcast date. 
    • Two of the others are cheats in my opinion (End of Time and Resolution) because they are holidays.
    • The fourth is the season opener next season!
  • First series finale in NuWho to NOT have David Tennant in it!
    • Also the first one where everybody lives! Well, in the sense that we don’t lose any main characters.
  • First NuWho finale to have lower viewership on the last episode than the one right before it.

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  • Creature of the week
    • All of them!
  • Geronimo – 1, his last words as he flies into the explosion
    • Running Count – 5
  • Jiggery Pokery
    • Sonic 
      • Lit a fire
      • Sparked when it touched itself
    • Random
      • Left Amy a mind message
  • The Pandorica will open
    • It was a box, cage, prison. It’s said to house the most feared thing in all the universe.
    • The Doctor called it a fairytale!
    • Turns out, it was a prison constructed for the Doctor!
  • Silence will fall
    • Prisoner Zero’s voice is heard when River leaves the TARDIS.
  • The Crack 
    • The Crack shape appears in the scanner screen when she steps out.
    • It took Amy’s parents.

Who’s Who?

  • Who is Rory? 
    • I suppose you and I will never get born. Twice in my case.
    • He’s a Nestene duplicate. A lump of plastic with delusions of humanity.
      • But he’s a little more than that. When the Nestene took a memory print from Amy, she was special. They not only got his look and sound but his heart and soul.
    • He DECKED the Doctor!
    • Why do you have to be so… human?! Because right now I’m not.
    • I was a plastic Roman. He was the stripper at my stag. Long story.
    • 2,000 years. The boy who waited.
      • This actually makes him older than the Doctor!
    • He’s not an Auton anymore…
  • Who is Amelia?
    • The painting Vincent did for Amy was in the background
    • Amy and Rory just became the first married companions!
  • Who is River?
    • First appearance of the hallucinogenic lipstick?
    • She’s totally fine with the wibbly wobbly-ness
      • You told the Doctor you’d see him when the Pandorica opens. Maybe I did. But I haven’t yet. But I will have!
    • She once dated a Nestene duplicate with a swappable head.
    • She made a DALEK beg for mercy!
  • Who is The Doctor? 
    • He’s a freakin rockstar! That speech that ends with “and then, AAAAAAAAND THEN! Do the smart thing: let someone else try first.” is awesome!
    • The universe is big. It’s vast and ridiculous and sometimes impossible things happen and we call them miracles. At least that’s the theory. Nine hundred years going and I’ve never seen one.
    • Me from the future. I’ve got a future, that’s nice!
    • There’s only one of me, I counted.
    • We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?
    • He borrowed the TARDIS. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient and the BLUEST blue!

Other stuff we noticed

  • Structures can hold memories, that’s why houses have ghosts!
  • He’s sad about losing the fez but says “I can buy a fez.”
    • Last season, 13 received a package from Space Amazon (Kerblam!). It was a fez!
  • Remember a few weeks ago when I asked the Whovians out there if they noticed what happened during the scene with Amy with her eyes closed?
    • This was that scene! In the original scene, he had his jacket off. But when he’s talking to her while she has her eyes closed, you can see his jacket sleeves.

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Classic Who Connection 

  • The list of baddies who show up to ensure that the Doctor is put in the Pandorica includes a number of Classic Who baddies. Of course, we are very familiar with many of them but here are a few we haven’t seen yet. 
  • Draconians – Reptilian humanoids from the planet Draconia a normally peaceful race that was tricked by the Master and Daleks to engage in a war with humans.
  • The Zygons – Shapeshifters who long ago crashed in Loch Ness and after learning of their home word’s destruction they decide to take over Earth. It turns out that the Loch Ness monster is actually a cyborg monster that is essential to the lives of the Zygons
  • The Terileptils – Another reptilian alien species that loves art, beauty, and war. Three Terileptil prisoners escape and crash land on Earth. They plan to take it over by releasing super-plague infested rats everywhere
  • The Line from the cyberman’s disembodied head “You will be assimilated” is from the first Cyberman serial, The Tenth Planet.
  • River talks about the good wizards in fairy tales turning out to be the Doctor. This has happened in Classic Who, in the serial Battlefield, the Doctor was the Wizard Merlin.
  • The writing on the cliff says “Hello Sweetie” then follows with Theta Sigma. A nickname of The Doctor while he attended Time Lord Academy was Theta, which is a more informal was of writing Theta Sigma.
  • Fezzes are cool and the Doctor has worn them before like he did as the Seventh Doctor in Silver Nemesis

Overall impressions

  • Overall rating out of 10 – 
    • Jared – 9 1,800-year-old Rories
    • Austin – 9.5 Underhenges
    • Corbin –  9 squid head cybermen
    • Tripp – 9 melted Rories 
  • Creep Level – out of 500
    • Jared – 200
    • Austin – 200
    • Corbin – 200
    • Tripp – 175


  • Corbin thinks The Crack will appear feature in every episode story and that either the Master or the New Paradigm Daleks or Davros are responsible for it and the Silence.
    • Well ACTUALLY, it didn’t appear in episode 4
    • Maybe it’s not the Daleks. 
    • The Doctor will blow up the TARDIS 
  • Tripp thinks The Crack is the end of the universe like the end of the sidewalk. The Crack is in the Wall of the Universe.
    • He also thinks that when the Doctor messed with it in Eleventh Hour that it changed it and caused the problem.
  • Tripp thinks the Star Whale is significant and we’ll see it again.
    • Not yet…
  • Tripp thinks the Doctor is going to find a way to bring back Rory, and this will cause the TARDIS to explode which causes the Crack.
    • When Rory comes back, Amy won’t remember him and will have to fall in love again. 
  • Corbin thinks Rory is coming back. They will find a way to stop the explosion which will cause Rory’s never having existed to not have existed.

The Game Plan 

  • We’re done with series 5! 
    • Is this the fastest we’ve ever completed a season?! I don’t think we missed a single week, and we only did one special, the Timey Wimey on By His Bootstraps.
  • Later this week we have a special Jared-sode where he will prime us for our Classic Who Rewind featuring the Third Doctor story The Terror of the Autons which is the first appearance of The Master.
    • This will be season 8, episodes 1-4.
    • As a reminder, you can find the Classic Who seasons on Amazon Prime video with a Britbox subscription.
  • We then get to have Christmas in November as we cover the 2010 Christmas episode A Christmas Carol.
    • These are separate now, kinda like the David Tennant specials were. So, search out Doctor Who – Christmas Specials, or follow our link.
Be sure to catch the Classic Who episode by starting your free trial with BritBox on Amazon Prime Video!

Next Time…

Join us next time as we discuss Classic Who Season 8 Episodes 1-4, The Terror of the Autons.


Noobs and the Whovian is a production of Master Closet Studios, where it’s always smaller on the inside. Your Senior Producer is Austin Reason. Our Audio Engineer is Tripp Reason. Corbin Reason is our Production Editor. Special thanks to for the trivia, Jared for the Classic Who Connection. Shout outs to Victor and Jared for their Patreon support.You can find us at and email us at [email protected]. Consider supporting us at Please subscribe and leave a rating wherever you found us, and share us with a friend not because we’re a great show but because we watch one.

You can find us at and email us at [email protected]. Consider supporting us at Please subscribe and leave a rating wherever you found us, and share us with a friend not because we’re a great show but because we watch one.